i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
