the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize