my mouth tastes like poor choices
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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