THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm at about main and main street
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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