you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
