How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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