you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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