I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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