Who did Billy Mays play for?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
