I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Is Oprah even human
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
