I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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