He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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