Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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