hotel room ftw
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
