check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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