when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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