I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
