i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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