um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
