How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
