check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
