I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm getting married
To pizza
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
