There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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