She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
