How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize