you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
