So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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