if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
