I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
