We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
