Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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