what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
