It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
