A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
