Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
