I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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