thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
