Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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