You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
