i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
