I hope mine doesn't look like that
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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