I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
