my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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