We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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