I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
