windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize