We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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