Quick, to the slutcave!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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