Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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