just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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