sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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