it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
