He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
