Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
being pregnant is like rehab
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
