paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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