You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm sobbing to NWA
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize