Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
