I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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