so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
