So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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