I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
