My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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