We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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