I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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