Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
are you so shy because you have an std?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
