Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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