he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
