He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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