there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Randomize
