I wish I could punch you in the face.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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