Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
