I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
