ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
