Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
