Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
