also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
