4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
