I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
