That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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