o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
