she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize